Let’s Talk About "Situationships"!

It has been almost a year since I published my first ever no filter experiences on dating and relationships. A year later and I find myself with new experiences, challenges, and more questions. And no, I still don't have it figured out!

I have interesting conversations with different people and when I ask them about their relationship status, the word “situationship” comes up quite a lot. This is a romantic arrangement that exists without having to define the relationship. Mind you this is not a hook up but rather an exclusive arrangement with that one person only. You do everything you would in a normal relationship without defining it. This would include making dinner plans, going places, watching movies and Netflix together and the list goes on.

By now you are correct to assume that I was in a situationship. I met someone chill and I was ok with not defining anything. We had boundaries and were going with the flow and living in the moment.

However, I have come to conclude that situationships are tricky. We are human after all and our emotions and feelings at some point gets involved. When that happens, the situationship either gets defined or simply ends. I think in my case, it was all about enjoying things people do in a relationship without having to define it but then emotions and feelings get caught up and it sucks when its one sided. I guess it takes a lot of practical thinking to end a situationship especially when you know that this was never going in any direction.

While that ended, my questions and thoughts continue to brood:

1. Do I want to be a in a relationship? A question I get asked alot! Yes, at some point and by now I kinda know what I want. So here is hoping, all that in God’s good time! But till then, I am happy alone.

2. I like to think that I give equal importance to relationships in my life, whether it is with someone I am seeing, family or friends. Why do people always make excuses that “I am too busy”, “my work is too demanding”, “family” etc.

3. For the point above, are we too scared to make relationships a priority or give it equivalent importance as we do to our work and family, because of past hurts and hauntings?

4. Am I on tinder or any dating apps? No! Many suggest to me that I should, but after being on Tinder 2 years ago, I realised I still prefer the old-fashioned way! (Guess who is ok to die alone!)

5. Can a guy, for once, when asking me out just decide which café or restaurant and just bloody book a table! That I think is sexy and also you ASKED ME OUT!

6. For the above point, only 1 guy has asked me out as of 2022! Clearly, I haven’t been mingling or I have just gotten great at scaring men away. Oops!

7. Does this type of guy exist, the ones that believes in having an honest conversation, one woman, values friendship and loyalty, and never stops trying once he, has you? Or am I still delusional?

I have decided not to get caught up in another meaningless relationship. Whether it be a situationship or a random fling of sorts, it ends up requiring an investment of time, money, energy, and emotions. After my past experience, thank you, and I dare not even say next! (just yet with a wink)!

So what do you think about situationships?